uncertainty or anxiety about oneself; lack of confidence.
Are we all well versed with this definition? You could look it up in the dusty dictionary of yours lying on the English bookshelf at your home and yet that would not help you in escaping the net of troubles you have created for yourself.
Insecurities and judging go hand in hand. The only difference here is that you are the one judging yourself. I wrote a blog about being judgemental and how it must stop, but how can we expect others to stop judging us when we are constantly scrutinising ourselves, ranting about our failures and creating a pressure on our neuro cells to react afraid and threatened by almost every situation.
The level, the intensity and the situations for which an individual is insecure vary deeply but they exist. The idea behind this article is to not challenge or define each of those situations but address the root cause of insecurities. I would not like to state that I am not insecure, seeing my friends dating makes me insecure about my own love life.
Being confused about my career makes me insecure about the kind of job or the kind of profession I would choose.
The insecurity of moving to a different place, insecurity of leaving my hometown, insecurity of losing my loved ones, insecurity of not being able to gain or acquire new friends…..the list is endless and so are the situations. But how do we deal with them?
The first and foremost step in dealing with insecurities is to make yourself your own friend. Aligning your thoughts and actions is extremely important. It is necessary to express what you are thinking in a correct format and do not be in a battle with yourself. The more you tussle over situations, ideas and opinions and the more you fight with your own self, being at peace is impossible. Creating a conscious mind to react to things appropriately and giving yourself breaks is important. Do not stress out over things, which sounds easy and is difficult to do, but well, practising and making an effort will solve some of it.
The second important thing to note while overcoming insecurities is to be grateful. THANK YOU! We often forget these two words. Why is that? We often fail to understand the power these words contain. Thank yourself, your parents, the people around you, your friends, your foes for they have all helped you developed into the person you are right now. You could thank God but well only if you believe in him/her!
The third step in overcoming insecurities in being non-anticipatory. Situations will happen, they are bound to happen, karma will draw its course and return back. Even if you do not believe in karma, let me throw some physics in here – every action has an equal and opposite reaction. We are all born with limitations and we are all limited by resources, by power, by articulated things which are tangible and intangible. By anticipating a situation we are thinking of all the possibilities which are impossible. However, in this process, we forget what we can do! By thinking of all the things you cannot do you are missing out on opportunities for things we can seize and make the most of it.
If this point seems a little vague I would suggest you read ‘Option B’ by Sheryl Sandberg which exemplifies how to kick the shit out of option B when option A is no longer available.
Human beings have a tendency of creating troubles and turmoils and when the door which we think is the best shuts down we often spend so much time just staring at it that we do not realise that another door full of, maybe better, opportunities has opened up.
Seize the day, grab it(no puns intended here)!
Get up and fight for yourself and not with yourself.