With the advent of dating apps and pace of relationships racing from dates to mates and weddings to divorces, a term constantly rubbed in my face is ‘ Open – Relationship’. One of them said, “Well, we all are made differently”. This actually got me to wonder, is my brain a malfunctioning organ (which most of my friends would gladly agree with) or is there a rut to get into a relationship and compromise to an extent to be happy without being happy or is this ‘Polygamy’ an actual thing.
We as human beings are always wanting more. Job security, better pay, bigger house, 3 pets instead of 2 ……. more attention. We as individuals are attention seeking hogs and I do not see anything wrong with it. We seek affiliation and we seek recognition for our achievements or the tiny things we do. We like to be praised and we would hope that there is one constant individual in our variable life to do so for us (except for our parents; they believe everything). But isn’t that the idea of Monogamy and isn’t that what Polygamy fails to do? For some yes, but for some no. Polygamy, in a nutshell, means having emotional and physical relationships with more than one person at the same time.
And while that is a custom followed by many religions, I do not think it is principally right for me to do it. Particularly because I intend to give in my 100% to a relationship with the person I am seeing. While this may seem extremely rational and easy in theory than in real life, this statement often gets intertwine with insecurity and is dealt with a lot of conjecture. Am I possessive? Am I protective? Am I obsessive? Am I jealous? Am I insecure? Not at all, with this article I want to debunk all these theories about people who wish to be in a Monogamous relationship and do not want the entire ocean to be sleeping with one fish.
Monogamy has been a dominant form of a relationship style up until very recently when people started saying “one is not enough”. It is not with respect to hanging libidos or insecurities but more so with having some form of stability and some form of predictability. Now, you will all debate with the side that life should be adventurous and not predictable but people in a monogamous relationship like to have the feeling of going home and knowing they will see a face which they can confide in and feel comfortable talking to.
Another reason why people prefer monogamy, and this is one of the strongest reason is that they give in 100 percent of themselves into the thing they do. They are devoted and they see one path and are willing to walk down that path forever. That does not mean they do not like to share, they just want what they ideally deserve which is 100 percent of the other person and that is not called being greedy that is called being righteous.
And while we could still see for those reasons, monogamous people do not like to compromise or at least feel like they are being compromised or making a sacrifice. We do things for which we own responsibility and we do not want to make a compromise on the person we love or the time we spend with them or the things we talk about them. It honestly feels like a compromise to be split emotionally and be torn apart and with monogamy, rules are less.
You are least concerned about what the other person is doing because you trust them more and while polygamy sounds fancy it is surely not for all. And as dichotomous people exist I think it is the time that monogamy is not debunked and derailed for the coin will always have two sides and they will never match.